i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
