Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
