also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
