You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
