in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Randomize
