Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
