He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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