You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
