Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
You left your phone here
Wait...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
