so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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