would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
sarcasm needs its own font
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
