My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
