Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.

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  (805): I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose. http://tfl.nu/niu3
  Replies (23) Good night (873) Bad night (2788)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves

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  (503): I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves http://tfl.nu/4g59
  Replies (25) Good night (5640) Bad night (712)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus

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  (937): i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus http://tfl.nu/ioq2
  Replies (26) Good night (8534) Bad night (766)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads

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  (617): Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads http://tfl.nu/gove
  Replies (41) Good night (11934) Bad night (1148)
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  (631): View more from New York

  just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.

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  (631): just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high. http://tfl.nu/w9mm
  Replies (28) Good night (6219) Bad night (935)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.

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  (412): well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm. http://tfl.nu/hugj
  Replies (10) Good night (5210) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom

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  (716): Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom http://tfl.nu/6fnb
  Replies (3) Good night (2204) Bad night (877)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.

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  (518): Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend. http://tfl.nu/xnkx
  Replies (8) Good night (859) Bad night (1278)
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  (510): View more from California

  Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands

  (1-510): View more from California

  Tgat was the small dick alert

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  (510): Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands (1-510): Tgat was the small dick alert http://tfl.nu/0ham
  Replies (6) Good night (2252) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.

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  (740): Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint. (740): Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint. http://tfl.nu/vk5s
  Replies (22) Good night (909) Bad night (5550)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"

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  (281): You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike" http://tfl.nu/m449
  Replies (1) Good night (1325) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics

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  (904): It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics http://tfl.nu/x92g
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.

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  (818): The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married. http://tfl.nu/19r4
  Replies (3) Good night (1188) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You get 5 min

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.

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  (734): You get 5 min (586): Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative. http://tfl.nu/1qfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1189) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.

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  (541): I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith. http://tfl.nu/2rsg
  Replies (6) Good night (597) Bad night (291)

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