Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office