I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter