Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience

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(908): I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience http://tfl.nu/4oik

Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (1127)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

oh boy

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

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(781): I'm starting a business if you want to get involved (1-781): oh boy (781): Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings http://tfl.nu/e1eb

Replies (21) Good night (2976) Bad night (487)
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(+44): View more from England

You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.

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(+44): You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway. http://tfl.nu/z6cq

Replies (34) Good night (5973) Bad night (1353)
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(303): View more from Colorado

i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas

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(303): i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas http://tfl.nu/cueg

Replies (56) Good night (4925) Bad night (1465)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.

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(+44): The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps. http://tfl.nu/azhr

Replies (14) Good night (6684) Bad night (1336)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja

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(250): A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja http://tfl.nu/h6o5

Replies (30) Good night (7416) Bad night (1157)
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(706): View more from Georgia

In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.

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(706): In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure. http://tfl.nu/bjg9

Replies (5) Good night (2291) Bad night (1079)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical

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(250): We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical http://tfl.nu/vxcf

Replies (8) Good night (1739) Bad night (387)
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(210): View more from Texas

This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.

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(210): This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions. http://tfl.nu/0vpd

Replies (2) Good night (861) Bad night (436)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.

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(413): Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like. http://tfl.nu/c9vg

Replies (8) Good night (354) Bad night (1467)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.

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(978): Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on. http://tfl.nu/i5sb

Replies (2) Good night (914) Bad night (341)
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(707): View more from California

Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.

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(707): Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point. http://tfl.nu/74cc

Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (273)
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(210): View more from Texas

did you know gatorade and rum go really good together

(1-210): View more from Texas

Are you doing depressed science again

(210): View more from Texas

maybe

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(210): did you know gatorade and rum go really good together (1-210): Are you doing depressed science again (210): maybe http://tfl.nu/zjts

Replies (4) Good night (819) Bad night (400)
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(425): View more from Washington

It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"

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(425): It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord" http://tfl.nu/9kd9

Replies (3) Good night (399) Bad night (317)
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(512): View more from Texas

I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?

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(512): I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out? http://tfl.nu/fchk

Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (296)

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