quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need to sanitize my soul.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
