"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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