Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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