Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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