Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
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