addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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