so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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