wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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