The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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