she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I AM VODKA MAN
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
