i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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