it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
