if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
