And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
