Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
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Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
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Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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