There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
