Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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