I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize