i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
