you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
