would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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