vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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