How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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