it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
