Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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