I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
