Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
