I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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