Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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