I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
