my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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