DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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