I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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