Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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