I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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