like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
