You're so nebulous sometimes
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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