Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
