what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
