R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
