The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
my poor anus
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
