dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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