I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
