Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize