shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
ugly people sure do ruin things
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
