There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Randomize
